The Party Crashers
by delusionment
Summary: The Host Club boys are supposed to be refined and poised at parties. But when there is alcohol, all hell unleashes as the boys decide to crash the party: Franz Ferdinand style. -oneshot-


AN: Inspiration for this story came from watching Franz Ferdinand's _Do You Want To_ (uncensored) music video WAY too many times. Have fun reading!

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The Party Crashers

At the age of twenty-one, Haruhi thought she was finally rid of the Host Club forever. SHE THOUGHT WRONG.

Okay, so let's start from the very beginning. Haruhi was part of the Host Club when she was in high school all because she accidentally broke a vase that was worth $80,000. If she could get gather 1000 requests from customers, her debt would be waned. The girl worked hard to get those 1000 customers, which took her until graduation to get. She was finally free from the Host Club after graduation!… Not.

When learning upon which college Haruhi had decided to attend (to which she had a scholarship for), Tamaki quickly transferred to that school with the rest of the Host Club in tow. Sure, after spending three years with these six gorgeous guys, she was somewhat attached to them and their normal quirks, but it was like high school all over again. There, the boys formed another Host Club, and tried recruiting Haruhi again. She refused point blank. But then Kyoya just _had _to ask if she wanted a car…and a laptop…and her first serving of ootoro, only on the condition that they would pay for all of that, and she would join the Host Club and work to gather the requests of 100 customers. It was simply too good of a deal to pass up. So Haruhi joined the Host Club again. It took her only two years to finish up the task this time. So she got a car of her choice, a laptop, and her very first taste of ootoro. Needless to say, the ootoro was very delicious.

That was probably the last time Haruhi saw the Host Club. She talked to them on the phone occasionally, but she had gotten a job afterwards to start saving up. She was now in her third year of college, and it was going to be her final year. Then she could finally get into law school and start studying to be a lawyer. She had saved up enough money for her apartment, and without telling the Host Club boys where she was living now, she moved closer to the law school wanted to get into. Haruhi had finally been able to live in peace and quiet for several months until she found the club in her living room a night she came home from work. Thanks to Kyoya and his damn network of information, he had located her, gotten hold of her spare key and made copies for everyone. Damn the Shadow King…damn him… Now the boys were literally living in her home when they didn't have classes and the work of a host, and that was basically when Haruhi was home from school and work. They weren't going to leave her alone, were they?

Wow, that introduction was longer than I thought.

"Then why did you make it so long?" Haruhi asked the author.

"Oh never mind that."

So anyway, our story starts when Haruhi got tickets to an art show from a friend in her class. These art shows were only hosted for a bunch of snotty rich, "chic" people who actually liked these rubbish things put together. To them it was considered "art". To Haruhi it was considered as "junk". But the tickets were a gift. Haruhi could go and try to enjoy herself away from the company of the Host Club…_or_ she could give the tickets to the Host Club to get them out of her hair for the night. It should be said right now that both plans backfired on her.

"Name?" the guard to the party asked.

"Haruhi Fujioka," The twenty-one year old woman answered.

"Wow, look at these dingy walls!" Tamaki yelled in the hallway.

"You could knock them over with one smash!" The Hitachiin twins added excitedly.

Kyoya adjusted his glasses and included his own comment. "It's highly unsafe."

Haruhi smiled grimly at the guard as the man gave the group an odd stare. "And group," she added reluctantly.

"Go on in."

The man opened the door to admit Haruhi and the Host Club inside. The whole room was a classic art studio. The walls were painted with that terrible grayish white and this "art" was littered throughout the room. The paintings on the wall didn't really have a deep meaning. It was just like taking random geometric shapes and sticking them together. Even Haruhi thought that a two-year old could create a better masterpiece. The figures were as dull as the people here. Sure enough, everyone acted like they knew everything about art. Modern art and its fanatics certainly was crap in Haruhi's mind.

The woman quickly spotted a bar across the bar when she entered.

"Is that a bar?" she asked herself. "Good, I need to get drunk." She quickly lost track of the Host Club as she rushed over to order a drink. The woman rarely drank alcohol unless it was for some special occasion, and she was willing to make an exception tonight. Haruhi began to take it slow with her first glass of wine as she toured the room. Just witnessing these people admire such junk called art made her eyes burn. How long did she have to spend here?

About an hour and a half of wandering around the room and drinking wine, Haruhi still didn't feel drunk at all. She cursed herself that she may have inherited her dad's tolerance for alcohol. This one time, why couldn't she get drunk? Then she began to hear…

"Do do, do dododo do do! Oh well do you, do you do you want to? Oh well do you, do you do you want to, want to go?" a chorus sang. "Where I've never let you before? Do do, do dododo do do!"

Haruhi whipped around in time to see a drunk Tamaki, twins, and Kyoya holding drinks in their hands and shoving the crowds of people aside while singing Franz Ferdinand's _Do You Want To_.

"Oh no…"

An intoxicated Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Kyoya certainly is a sight to see. They all had that Asian glow that all Asians got when drinking alcohol. Haruhi wasn't pleased with the sight of the Host Club smashed, but she was especially surprised to see Kyoya among the ones who was drunk. You would think that he would be a little more refined than that. Although, Kyoya could either be drunk because he's a light drinker or the twins managed to get him drunk. Haruhi was willing to go with the former.

Haruhi quickly ran up to Tamaki, tugging on his arm. "What the _hell_ are you doing?" She asked angrily.

Tamaki turned to her with a drunken grin. "Oh, Haruhi! Hey there! Do you…do you wanna?" he asked, slurring his words together.

"No, I don't want to." She answered quickly. She watched as Kyoya grabbed another drink from a passing tray. Now he had two glasses of wine in one hand, and he and the twins were doing little dances. "Why did you guys get drunk?" she demanded from the four of them. They didn't seem to understand her words because they raised their glasses to Haruhi and continued singing along with Franz Ferdinand's song.

"Do do, do dododo do do! Oh well do you, do you do you want to? Oh well do you, do you do you want to, want to go?" they sang. "Where I've never let you before? Do do, do dododo do do!" Kyoya's two drinks began splashing around, and Kaoru's wine flew out of the glass when he raised it sharply in the air.

"This is ridiculous!"

Haruhi stormed off to try and find Mori and Hunny. She wished that they weren't drunk as well. How was she supposed to drag six drunks to her car and back to their homes? She didn't even _know_ where they lived! Finally, she found Mori and Hunny hanging around the huge statue of a foot. Mori was sitting on the pedestal with Hunny lying down next to him.

"What happened to him?" Haruhi asked.

"Mitsukuni drank too much," Mori answered quietly.

"He must be very lightweight if he's already passed out."

"Yes."

Haruhi smacked herself on the forehead. Somehow, she felt partly responsible for the reason why the Host Club was drunk.

"Are you sober?" She asked. Mori nodded slowly. "Good. There are four other drunks around here and they will need to be taken back to my apartment for the night." She handed Mori the keys to her car. "You can put Hunny in my car. I'll try to round up the others." The silent man lifted Hunny up and left.

Haruhi began to scour the art studio for one of the drunken men. She finally found the four of them in one corner of the room where they were spread out, walking into people and still singing that song. Everyone around them were angry and disgusted at being pushed aside. Hikaru was holding a tray of food and eagerly eating its content. Kyoya was fooling around with one of the paintings by altering it to how he saw fit, and Tamaki and Kaoru were holding on of their shoes and waving it around excitedly.

"Oh well I woke up tonight and said I'm gonna make somebody love me! I'm gonna make somebody love me!" The boys sang out of tune. "And now I know, now I know, now I know, I know that it's you! You're lucky, lucky! You're so lucky!" Tamaki dived right into a crowd of people, waving his shoe frantically.

"That idiot…" Haruhi decided to deal with this one first. "Tamaki!"

Tamaki stopped when he saw Haruhi, and he brightened up like a child. "Ha-Ha-Haruhi!" He slurred! "Dddidd youuu come all thththiss way jussstt to ssssseeee me?"

"Of course!" She lied. "Come on, Tamaki. Let's go home now!"

The man sat down on the ground, crossed his arms and legs and pouted like a child. "No!"

"Don't be like that! If you come with me, I'll make you ramen and give you that baby star snack you like, and whatever commoner junk food you want!" She bribed.

"Okay!" Haruhi took him by the hand and began leading him to the exit. Luckily she ran into Mori along the way and passed Tamaki to him. Well, that was one down, three more to go.

Kaoru was going to be next. He was still in the place where she last saw him. He was still waving around his shoe randomly. "You, you, you're gonna mmisssss it! J-just watch me! You gonna miss it!" He was yelling to anyone who was willing to pay attention and that was…well, no one really gave a damn about what Kaoru was going to do.

Haruhi strode up to Kaoru and pulled him by the sleeve. "Kaoru, you're drunk!" She accused.

"And you're s-s-sexy!" He countered with a drunken laugh. "Come h-h-here!" He gave Haruhi a hard kiss. The man in question absolutely reeked with alcohol. Haruhi retaliated by grabbing Kaoru's shoe and smacking him in the head.

"Ow-oh!" Kaoru's pain was short lived when he found a waiter passing by him with another tray full of drinks. He snatched one and drowned the entire glass with one gulp.

"Yeah, let's go, Kaoru. Let's go home." Haruhi said slowly as she dragged him along.

"Wha-? Why are we leaving th-this room? I-I-It's rude to the…the other people in here." Kaoru protested weakly.

"Right…" Again, Mori was waiting for the next victim that had to be imprisoned in Haruhi's car. Now that was two down, two more to go. The Shadow King was going to make a nice addition to the other three.

Now Haruhi had to admit, a drunk Kyoya is just as scary as a Kyoya with low blood pressure in the morning, or when he wanted to kill Tamaki for doing something incredibly stupid. When Kyoya was drunk, he was a lot friendlier and good-natured.

"Hey, Kyoya, do you want to play a game called 'Drink the Wine?'" Haruhi asked as she grabbed two glasses from a passing tray.

Kyoya turned to Haruhi and smiled with an intoxicated, refreshing smile. "S-sure!" He grabbed one of the glasses out Haruhi's hand and swallowed its content with one swig. "What d-do I win?"

"Another glass of wine!" Kyoya literally lunged for it, but Haruhi tried her best to keep it out of his reach. She baited him with it, making him follow the glass until they reached Mori. Good. There was only one more drunk to go.

Haruhi found Hikaru doing a horrible version of the Moonwalk dance through a crowd to people. Haruhi grabbed him by the collar and began dragging him to the entrance.

"Ha-Haruhi, slow down because everything around me is like woaaaahhhh." Hikaru slurred.

"I can't believe you got drunk."

"I…I have never felt better!" He rambled. He turned his head to the side and vomited. "Okay, _now_ I have never felt better."

Haruhi let go of Hikaru's collar so he collapsed on the floor on his back. She stared at him for a moment. Now what was that one martial arts move that put people to sleep? Oh yeah… Haruhi lifted Hikaru and karate chopped him in the back of the head.

"Ow!" he yelled. He rubbed his neck with pain as the woman apologized. It took about a couple more tries until Hikaru really passed out. Haruhi didn't know if she really hit the correct spot or if Hikaru passed out only because of the pain. Anyway, she dragged him out of the building and to her car where Mori was waiting. The unconscious Hikaru was stuffed in the back with the intoxicated Kaoru, Tamaki, and Kyoya. Mori sat in the driver seat, and Haruhi was in shotgun with Hunny in her lap. For someone so small and who didn't grow all that much since high school, he was heavy, but Haruhi wasn't complaining. She was just silently praying that no one was going to puke in her car.

That night, the unconscious drunken idiots and Mori spent the night at Haruhi's apartment. Tamaki, Kyoya, and the twins were laid to rest in the small living room around the table. Trashcans and buckets were given to each one. Hunny slept in the bathroom with towels so if he ever needed to hurl, the toilet would be nearby. Mori was sleeping in the kitchen.

In the morning, Haruhi woke up to the nasty smell of vomit in her apartment. Hunny, Kyoya, and Hikaru were the only ones who hurled, but it was still nasty. The woman thanked the heavens that they had enough sense to throw up in the toilet-slash-trashcan-slash-buckets she gave them. Oh, all of them were going to pay…

Out spite, Haruhi grabbed a pot and a wooden spatula and began banging them together. The effect was almost instantaneous. All the ones with a hangover clutched their heads or tried drowning the sound out with their pillows over their ears. Mori sat up and watched with a blank face. It was hard to tell if he was amused or just pitying the others.

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!" Haruhi chorused.

"Stop that!" Hikaru demanded, throwing his pillow at the woman. "My head won't stop pounding…"

She raised her eyebrow. "And whose fault is that? What were you thinking, getting drunk at that party?"

"There was alcohol. We're legal," Kaoru answered. Haruhi picked up the pillow that was thrown at her and smacked Kaoru with it.

"So? I'm legal and I didn't get drunk!" Haruhi resumed beating the bottom of the pot with the wooden spatula. "Get up! Consider this punishment for getting wasted and embarrassing me! There was a load groan from everyone. "You're going to scrub my apartment and my car clean until the horrible smell of your vomit is gone!"

This was a lesson for the Host Club: Never get drunk when going to a party with Haruhi because she was going to make you pay the next morning. No, no. It more like this: never go to a party with Haruhi because she was going to spoil your fun when you are drunk. Enough said.


End file.
